Hello to everybody from Chicago, aka where I’ll be bumming around for the next year or so. Tell your friends, you heard it here first!
I haven’t been wasting any time this summer now that I’m back in a music-friendly town. I’ve seen a couple of shows that you just may hear about eventually, and I even traveled to the far lands of Tennessee in search of heatstroke, unwashed people, and a decent joint. Um, scratch that last one.
Miraculously, I did find what I went looking for.

I found Conan O’Brien. Some people waited in line from the crack of dawn to see this guy in the [air-conditioned!] Comedy Tent. I didn’t.
Some people STOOD UP in the middle of a field in the heat of the afternoon to watch this guy ON A SCREEN for an hour and a half. I didn’t.
I heard a bit of the show, saw a little bit (from the aforementioned screen). My conclusion: nobody is funny enough when it’s 95 degrees and humid and the sun is doing its thing. Comedy and air conditioning (and SITTING) are a match made in nirvana.

I found Norah Jones. She was playing outside in the afternoon. You know, I never would have thought Norah and Conan could have much in common, but they do. Oh, they do.
After being drenched in our own sweat sans a hint of wind, even sitting out to watch her became too much and we only lasted about 30 minutes (her whole show was an hour and a half! Holy crap Bonnaroo! Why the grotesquely inflated set durations?!). Sorry, Norah. You sounded sweet.

I found The xx. Yes, that’s their name and they’re from England and therefore too cool to argue with. Their set was the “headliner” of an early Thursday night – you DO have to pace yourselves, people! – and I’m glad I stayed. The calm, dispassionate group may not have distracted me from my tired feet, but mind prevailed over matter! The xx coolly moved through their terse but solid catalog as highly inebriated/influenced people wandered in and out of the packed tent and the trademark smells and sights of Bonnaroo began to emerge – weed smoke wafting through the sweaty, closely packed crowd; scantily clothed and dirty people staggering through great patches of deep mud formed by the recent rain as well as various beverages and/or bodily fluids that may have been present; filthy port-o-potties with moats of said mud; and did I mention the closely packed, yet strangely spaced-out crowd?
And you think I do this kind of thing for fun? It’s for love, man. Love.

I found LCD Soundsystem, at 2:30 in the @%$* morning on the second night of the festival. I was surprised that they were playing a tent (the “big” acts get the outdoor stages); I was doubly surprised that the tent wasn’t packed out. I mean, they’re headlining one night of Pitchfork this summer in Chicago! Anyway, James Murphy (the lead singer – or rather, vocalist) seemed a bit peeved to be there too. The heat hadn’t relented much, and high people were pelting him with glowsticks. Huh? Is that a Bonnaroo thing? Anyway, the crowd didn’t particularly care as long as LCDS played “All My Friends.” I mean, they started with frickin’ “Us v Them” and didn’t let down the pace from there – this is LCD Soundsystem here, with ace material to fill a set twice as long as the hour and a half (see what I mean? Why so long?). This is their last tour, and it’s more like a victory lap. Murphy, not receiving quite the adulation he might have expected, didn’t bother to try to win over the crowd (they HAD to have been on something to have as much energy as they did. I, alas, did not), which was probably for the better in the end.
I’m looking forward to a more focused crowd at Pitchfork, as well as not being hella exhausted. Those 10-minute jams will be better on fresher feet in a dancier crowd, and that “New York I Love You” finale will certainly be much more satisfying when I’m not half-asleep. Although I probably won’t be treated to the spectacle of a drug-powered dance-and-grope-ladies one-man party that was going on in the VIP section next to where I was standing.

I found Wayne Coyne and the rest of the Flaming Lips, playing another of their trademark spectacle-shows like the one I saw last summer at Pitchfork (what? I never got around to writing about that? oops). They incidentally played right before LCD Soundsystem, and while I was able to sit for the show – I mean shows, they also covered Dark Side of the Moon with Stardeath and White Dwarfs – it was late. I never really got into Those Glorious Lips, but hey. It was okay.
The craziest thing was entering back into the venue area after taking a dinner break at the campsite – the place was JAMMED with people wandering everywhere. The crowd for the Lips was IMMENSE. The field in front of the stage was just covered. Bonnaroo is definitely the largest festival – or anything, really – I’ve ever been to.

I found The National. I FOUND The NATIONAL!!! Fed up with the overstuffed crowds at even the smallest of shows, I decided to skip She & Him (hey, I saw them – I mean her – at SXSW) and work my way up as close as possible to the stage during the show before. I did a lot of waiting, but OH WAS IT WORTH IT LET ME TELL YOU RIGHT NOW YES. I was front row. First time at a music festival to be there. And it was the coolest thing. The show? Mindblowing. Anything but slow. This was one show I was glad to stand so long for. As the sun set, Matt Berninger (the lead singer) got more and more soused and just all-around messed up, barking out the lyrics with his gruff baritone, venturing out into the crowd again and again, wrecking his mic stand toward the end. It was terrific. I was even able to give him an encouraging pat on the shoulder as he walked by (I sound like such a fanboy).
This set was really the highlight of the whole weekend. The band was in terrific form, delving deep into their repertoire and selecting the choicest songs from their new masterpiece, High Violet. At one point in the show, he chucked his plastic wine glass into the crowd, only to ask for it back and pour a glass for the bloke who managed to grab it. Just full of great moments. This experience has only fed the flames of my nascent man-crush on Berninger. Oh well. I reluctantly staggered away from the railing after a triumphant encore, emotionally and physically spent. And loving every minute.

I found Neon Indian, an obvious fit for Bonnaroo if there ever was one. Their burbling synthesizers, hazy vocals, and catchy, danceable hooks made for a great, fuzzed-out dance party as everyone got right to their mind-enhancers the first night. Fun.

I found Here We Go Magic. Their music is pretty psychedelic, so a good fit there. I just don’t remember much about the show, good or otherwise. An indistinct impression. Perhaps the contact high was beginning to work its – wait for it – magic.

I found Dave Rawlings Machine. Just classy, people. Classy. Bluegrassy. (Confession: I sat down)

I found Brandi Carlile, who has a dusky, expressive voice. She’s an amazing performer. The end.

I found STEVIE WONDER! WHOOO! Yeah, he’s not only a consummate professional and performer, he plays a keytar. That is beyond wonderful. He absolutely enthralled the crowd as he headlined Saturday night, bringing classic hit after classic hit. I mean, “Superstitious”? “Higher Ground”? He displayed the chops and charisma that one would expect of a living legend. In two hours, he proved that title to be true. Not that he needed to. I was standing VERY far away from the stage. You know, 70,000 people is a lot of people. Everyone seemed relaxed, into it, and having a good time. Which is super, because no one wants to see 70,000 angry rioters.

I found Jay-Z. I stayed out of his way. Just kidding, but Jay definitely ran this town, following Stevie’s set. His stardom is truly forever young. Jay-Z positively owned the huge expanse of the Which Stage (yeah, at least it wasn’t That Tent) alone, as backing vocalists and a DJ stayed clear, allowing J to speak for himself. That he did, his performance emphasized by the visuals from the giant skyline-shaped video screen behind him. He flew in via helicopter earlier in the day. That’s just what a baller does.

I found Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. It kinda bugs me that it’s not Zeroes.
Anyway, they were energetic, folksy, and just plain fun. I’m not the biggest fan, but I have to admit they put on a swell show, the stage filled with singers, guitarists, horn players, banjists, etc, and Edward capering about. NO NOT THAT EDWARD

I found a band with the same name as the town in which Bonnaroo is held! Almost. Manchester Orchestra is a band I’ve wanted to see for a while, and their intense live show didn’t disappoint. The band’s killer riffs, combined with lead Andy Hull’s earnest howls, thrilled a crowd ready to rock out on the first day. At least, I was. I enjoyed myself, in between trying not to get trapped in the deep sludge in the center of the ground inside the tent.

I found Mumford and Sons, playing the heck out of their only album’s songs. The crowd was rabid. A pretty energetic show, capped with a highlight collaboration as M&S invited Dave Rawlings and his Machine, who preceded them, on stage to close out the set. Man, those fans were heartbroken when their cries for an encore were unheeded.

I didn’t find Phoenix. Me and my crew were already gone by the time they took the stage late Sunday, on our way to hot showers and air conditioned sleeping.

I found a fountain! This picture was taken on Thursday, before its crystal waters changed to murky crystal waters later in the weekend. Hey, I guess if it gets you cool …

I found that napping and shade are crucial to the Bonnaroo experience. Well, crucial to surviving it anyway. I had some naps under a tree in midday that were better than my sleep at night. Well, being woken every morning by the STIFLING HOT SUN EVISCERATING your tent doesn’t particularly help.


I found PEOPLE. Shirtless, sweaty, carousing, cooking, arguing, pissing, eating, smoking, friendly people. The community is, in my opinion, what keeps ‘em coming back year after year (next year will be the 10th). That and drugs. In general, the Bonnaroo crowd isn’t the most serious or dedicated of music fans – many don’t know most of the acts performing – but that doesn’t keep them from being enthusiastic. They’re laid-back from weed, they have super-endurance from, um, other things. I’ve never seen crowds SO ANXIOUS to get to the stage and get as close as possible to the front, waiting for a long time for the artists to come on, only to lose interest and wander off halfway through the show. Everyone was moving somewhere, all the time.
I will say this: facility-wise, Bonnaroo is excellent. The many port-o-potties are cleaned regularly, there’s enough space for everyone to camp, there’s enough food and water and so forth.
However.
The music venues have not grown accordingly. The 3 tents and 2 stages are simply not big enough to accommodate a crowd this big comfortably. Only the largest stage has screens, for crying out loud! My friend who is fairly short had a tough time because she really couldn’t see anything for any of the concerts unless she was at the very front. The tent stages are unusually low for some reason.
Anyway, it’s a fun experience and I’m glad I went. The focus, it should be noted, is not so much on the music as the communal experience and the ability to smoke as much weed as you want without getting arrested. Just kidding! (kind of:)
Hope this hasn’t wasted too much of your day. But appreciate this!It’s taken me a freaking long time to write all this!!!
Cheers,
Lincoln
PS – photos courtesy of Stereogum, CBS News, Pitchfork, and Metromix Cincinnati. Don’t sue me, okay guys?